Always a Bridesmaid?

Finishing second for a job doesn’t have to be the end of the road

Never a pleasurable experience yet one that many job seekers endure during their job searches is the trial of coming in second – when the position comes down to two individuals and your not the one chosen. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. But swallow it you will and move on you must.

How best to handle being the proverbial bridesmaid and not the bride?

Let’s begin with what not to do. Do not lose your cool or lash out at the hiring manager or recruiter. That is a no-win strategy of the highest order.

What may serve you best at this juncture is to spend a little time in introspection. Why did you finish second? Was there something in interview? Were you not prepared? Did you not follow up appropriately?

Maybe you just weren’t right for the job. Was the job just not a good match for you and your skills? Maybe you weren’t sufficiently persuasive in communicating your interest in the job and/or the company? This soul searching may be one of the most difficult mountains you’ll have to climb as part of your job search.

As for the company that turned you down, don’t take it personally. You might want to check back with the company to determine how their first choice fared. It’s not too much to ask why you weren’t chosen. What specifically did you lack? Did you make any mistakes along the way?

There is a more practical reason to follow up. It could be that the other person turned down the job offer. After a couple of months, either party may realize that a mistake was made and that the employer may be interested in looking again at number two.

Another approach might be to reach out to the person(s) with whom you contacted at the employer. If they liked you enough to elevate you to number two on their list, it could be that perhaps there is another position within the organization for which you also might be suitable. It never hurts to ask.

Of course, the other approach may be thought of by some as a bit over the top. Think about it. They offered the job to #1 who presumably will have to leave his current position to take this new job. That leaves an opening with #1's employer. Call them to inquire if you could be considered for that position. It’s worth a shot.

When you make it a learning situation and/or use it to improve your standing within the job search community and now finishing second doesn’t seem to be the catastrophe you first thought.

More tips.